Blending In

This morning, I took what can only be described as the worst shower I have ever taken in the United States. Not to be daunted, I put on my new New York wardrobe and hopped on the bus like a pro.

My goal was to blend in. With my hat, imitation-Ross shirt, and dapper New York ways, I have a better shot of blending in here than I do in Italy. (That may not be saying much.)

On the bus, I was extremely pleased with myself. “If only Mommy could see me now,” I thought in my Grover voice, which led to a mild snafu when I put my Metra card in the wrong way. This meant I had to work extra hard to maintain the illusion. I did my level best to look disinterested, even though an attractive woman, Toys’r’us, and a “Mamma Mia” ad were in close proximity.

For the easily stimulated, acting like a New Yorker is extra hard. Nonetheless, I gained bonus points when I jaywalked the SHIT out of 42nd. The absolute SHIT. Soon I’ll be glaring at tourists in no time!

I am currently sitting in a Starbucks trying to kill the half an hour before work begins. This Venti is intimidating.