One Week To Go

As of Friday, I had exactly seven days left in New York City. I was originally supposed to be home by now, but I asked my bosses (and Margot) for an extra week, since I'd missed so many days early on. I've had quite a summer, what with turning 21, the Olympics, the election, and a phenomenal job experience, not to mention being in the greatest city on the planet. Rome, Chicago, New York, Delhi, and Calcutta -- the greatest 18 months of my life.

The Imperfect Ganesha

Friday was a half day at work. Not even my boss showed up, so I spent the day researching Government Barbie (c). She comes as part of a special Oil and Gas Lobbyist series and is in near mint-condition -- she's only two years old, after all.

After Forgetting Sarah Palin, I spent the day moaning and groaning as the results of Andre's workout fully hit me. I hit Madison Square Garden to see a play with Ethan, who was nice enough to score free press pass tickets. Unfortunately, the play was not very good. I'll spare you my rant about Western writers using the stale trope of Exotic, Ethnic, Poor India as a mechanism for spoiled white people to "discover" themselves. What was truly notable was that the path the old Connecticut WASP-Ladies took was the same one Ross and I will be taking in December.

Then it was off to Dallas BBQ, a truly obnoxious "Texan" restaurant which is important for being where I began my 21st festivities. Several margaritas and long island iced teas later, I'm rambling to Grider in incoherent doublespeak.

Pseuper-Heroes and Pseudo-Fashion

I woke up today and announced "The eyes are bright! The tail is bushy!" Margot and Noel did not share my enthusiasm. I even threatened to go to the gym! After much complaint, we all managed to dress ourselves and leave the apartment for brunch. We went to this fancy bread place that Margot told me was Lisy's favorite, and I can see why. I got something with arugula because ARUGULA GODDAMMIT. Also, I am a secret muslim antichrist elitist.

Ria called on my way back, and insisted that we go see an exhibit called "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." Usually, Ria and I have very disparate tastes when it comes to cultural pursuits. This, however, is what is known as "compromise."

The exhibit was amazing. They actually brought up some very interesting points about the iconic nature of superhero costumes, and how some of them mirror fashion traditions. Also, IRON MAN SUIT and BATMAN SUIT DROOOOOOOOOL. They even had a gallery of original debut comics, like Amazing Fantasy 15 and Action Comics #1. Which is impressive, considering those comics are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. But it's the Met, so go figure.

Anyway, I'm sold on the Met. It can stay. The end.

"And all I could think is, who names their kid 'Barack Obama'?"

Clearly, Earth's yellow sun gives Obama superhuman powers he lacks on his home planet of Hawaii.

--

*UPDATE* Alaska Barbie for VEEP! WHOO WALNUUUUTS!

"Cool Batman shirt,"

said Andre, in a neutral tone.
"Yeah," I said, "I left the one that just says 'NERD' in big black letters at home."
Andre laughed a little, then looked confused. "Do you, um, have an actual shirt like that?"
"No."
"So that's just what you say when someone complements you on your shirt."
"Yeah."

The training is phenomenal. I've gone down from 16% to 12% body fat. Andre says my chest is in fact in better shape than his now. And I've just ordered the Batsuit; it'll be shipped to Ross' next week.

--

On the subway, I definitely got caught dancing and lip synching to Mika's "Lollipop." This was the second funniest thing I had seen in public today -- I was walking behind a lady today who inspired no less than seven male gawkers within the space of thirty seconds as she passed by. Construction workers, lawyers, and food stand people all could not resist.

Now SHUT UP INTERNET FRIENDS, it's OBAMA TIME.

Ted or Alive

Yesterday, my friend Ted visited us, albeit briefly. We had beer and watched the convention. We're so cool.

Ted left at 5 AM, and I was totally awake to see him go, but when it came time for me to re-awaken for work, my brain kept telling me "If you wake up now, you'll never win the soda-candy chugging contest. Keep your eyes closed!" Needless to say, I was half an hour late to work today.

--

Last night, in Dreamland, I met the actor who plays Jim Halpert and took him on a tour of my office. I spent the whole dream profoundly uncomfortable, almost sure that he'd find my existence mundane. But he was incredibly nice about it. Then we talked about positivism for a while.

It's a Christmas Miracle

EXT. GOTHAM CITY: THE JOKER is leaping over some snow-covered rooftops.

JOKER: Jingle Bells (gunshot) Batman smells, Robin, oh you know the rest. The important part being me getting away.

THE JOKER spots a dark shadow and pushes a Santa display, complete with reindeer onto it.

JOKER: Oh, Batsie, you sleigh me! Now, with any luck, it's time to return the favor!

--

Why would my subconscious go to such great lengths for a pun?

Your MOM'S Having Breakfast With Me

Ross' Mom invited me to breakfast with her at Conde Nast publishing. You know, where GQ, Vogue, and all those places are? I realize the situation sounds like a middle-school joke, but I'm really excited.

Yesterday, my boss was angry with me for not being born in the US. She wanted me to be President.

In other bizarre compliment news, Margot told me that I would definitely get married, as I would make a terrific father. As terrifying as the thought of tiny Prankses running amok is, the idea of me being married is even worse. Maybe I can skip a few steps? WEDLOCK BABY: TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT. You heard it here first, folks.

--

Edit:

"Pranks, it's Thundercats: HOOO!"

roguetldr 3:05
"not from Juno"

arctica776@gmail.com 3:05
"Juno misquoted it and now everyone does."

roguetldr 3:06
"I know"

arctica776@gmail.com 3:06
">:|"

roguetldr 3:06
"but it referenced babies"

06:14
"so I figured..."

arctica776@gmail.com 3:06
">:|!"

roguetldr 3:06
"okay okay"

06:31
"I'll change it"

Margot at the apartment

Margot has moved in, which has increased the number of people in the apartment by 50% and the number of objects in it by 500%. We had a lovely day today; we went to the Nintendo Store (where I saw the voice of Mario and Luigi!) and Coney Island (where I ate an original Nathan's Dog) and finally to this wacky dinner place where I ate frozen hot chocolate.

I'm starting to get Chicago-sick now, so it's good that she's here. Having someone to show around will keep me from getting too bored.