Animal Magnetism

We pick up with our hero's story at 9 AM, when Marlena calls him to remind him that today is Bronx Zoo day. Unfortunately, due to the diabolical machinations of his arch-nemesis, Rossitron, he went to bed at 5 AM the night before.

Luckily, the animals picked him right up. What can I say about the zoo that I haven't already said? It's a zoo! What could possibly go wrong? All the expected things happened, like Ross going apeshit over the camels and me going apeshit over, well, the apes.

My patronus is a spider monkey, you see. (I decided this long ago.)

Anyway, after the zoo, it was time to celebrate Ross' birthday in style. So clearly we spent it buying liquor, then watching Batman, Spider-Man, then Batman cartoons, stopping only for gyros in between.

Like I said, in style.

Marlena and her friend Ellen showed up after we were 90% through Mask of the Phantasm. This was after we called and mocked Bekah for having us as friends, having spent most of our weekend drinking alone and deconstructing "The Spectacular Spider-Man."

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GUESSING GAME:

A set of flower-print Martha Stewart wine glasses, a can opener, a "Disney Princesses" addition workbook, a can opener, a bottle of wine, a bottle of bourbon, and a bottle of ginger ale.

This is the shopping list of:

a) A sad, forty-something single mother who is down on her luck
b) A gay couple celebrating the anniversary of their baby's adoption
c) What Ross and I came back with from K-Mart tonight