Dry Another Day

It started off as a pretty good day. I was awakened by a phone call from Mom, who wanted to know if I had picked up Dad yet. I hadn't even picked up my pants yet. One of the good things about having your own apartment is that you always win pants chicken.

I was overjoyed to see Dad, having been without company for a whopping ten hours. He and I went on a shopping spree, filling my empty cupboards with all manner of foodstuffs. When the dust cleared, my fridge and cabinets were full to bursting.

(Still no sign of my prodigal roommate.)

The real story is my first laundry adventure, which was quite an ordeal. It involved making change at the unfriendly Mexican-run Italian place downstairs, then realizing the machine didn't accept quarters. Turns out you have to get a card, put money on it, then put the card in the machine. Conveniently enough, the machine only accepts shiny NEW ten dollar bills. Which I did not have.

So I snuck back into the Italian/Mexican place (painfully aware of the Chipotle bag I was clutching) and tried to use the ATM at breakneck speed.

In the course of the evening, I managed to spill my detergent all over my hands and emit a scream of frustration that for some reason came out "KHAAAAAAAN!" Luckily, no one was around. I also failed to understand the way the dryer worked, wasting two dollars giving some shmuck's load an extra drying.

I slunk back to my room to eat my burrito, which tasted funny. I panicked, thinking I hadn't cleaned off the detergent residue well enough.

"Is detergent residue poisonous? No, right? 'Cause if it was, then why would we wash our clothes in it? Maybe it's only poisonous if you don't dilute it with water first. I mean, human beings are 70% water, so that counts as dilution, probably. But wait, you're not supposed to eat soap, either. Shit! I could go blind!"

I told myself that being alone, neurotic, and New York was no excuse for Peter Parker-ing out. Besides, I see Ross tomorrow, so I should probably be able to survive until then. Now let's see if I can get them out of the dryer without any mishaps.